How to Find Yourself by Losing Yourself


‘Our lives improve only when we take chances and the most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves’. –  Walter Anderson.

Growing up in a big city like Kolkata, I was always known as the kid who is very bold, straight forwarded and free-spirited. I was not at well-mannered or neither a conscientious child. This must sound odd but this is the harsh truth. I had a real love of learning and always appreciated the opportunity to be exposed to so many things.

I am grateful to my parents for all the privileges. The unintended side effect of being the kid who is bold and free-spirited, a lot was that it set a very high bar in terms of others’ expectations of me.

Truly speaking, I hate people who show their or pretend to be perfect all the time. When they met people like me, they just try to cut the free wings because these people think that how free-spirited people or staying in a careless manner, why they and how they are speaking so freely? Their mind set is like this because they have not enjoyed their being fake perfect.  ‘I was born to make mistake, not to fake perfections’.

I really love to do whatever I like. I am not here to fit into any of your world, but I am here to make my own. I would be able pursue my heart’s desires unencumbered by apprehension about how others might respond. I would be free.

I have allowed myself to delight in the journey, without worrying too much about how others might perceive whether or not I am living my life in the way they think I should. I can just be myself whoever that happens to be at the time.

Here are some suggestions for breaking free:

  1. Try to adopt  various identities of yours : Which work is perfect for you? Can you easily adopt that work? You must notice the fact that which kind of work create a negative impact on you. You must not try to attempt those because it can have a negative effect on you. It may have positive effect on many but it is not good for you.
  2. Recognize the feedback given by others: Try to listen to others’ feedback as it is a helpful way out to develop your inner self. Have faith and trust on your capability and gut. Agree with your comfort zone and never go out of our comfort zone. Agree with your choices too.
  3.  Give time to change your identity: If you are known as the person who you are, remember this this not the identity that you carry for life time. Your persona changes. You must think what is right and perfect for you. Your current feelings must be your first priority.
  4. Give yourself time to grow: Instead of  meeting the expectations of people, give yourself time to grow.  Aim yourself to be right and have the courage to fight with your fears.  Your biggest fear may turn up as your strong point. Be kind and compassionate towards yourself.
  5.  Do what your mind says: Yes to be yourself and to create your own identity, do things that you are comfortable with and what your mind permits you to do.

Do not look back and regret what you have lost. Think positive and have trust on yourself. You will surely be regarded with greater life and happiness. Always remember the great words of late Maya Angelou, ‘There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.’

Remember you are one of a kind and you must honour and respect that unique you inside yourself. No one can make you hay until you are hay from inside. Perfect is boring, but your imperfections are what makes you truly beautiful.

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